Tick Tock, Too Many Clocks
by reyrocks
Summary: Every time Kuroo visits his family, they give him a clock as a gift because their family just really likes clocks. So he keeps bring home all these clocks and putting them around the house and Kenma is going insane. Kenma either needs to tell Kuroo they have enough clocks before he goes on an angry rampage and breaks every single one, but Kuroo really loves every clock and Kenma do


**Another AU inspired by Heather who actually lives in a hell hole of clocks. All of these are real btw. I finally got to write self indulgent stuff yessss! Anyway enjoy!**

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Tick Tock, Too Many Clocks

"Kenma, I'm home!" Kuroo announced when he walked through the front door of their apartment. Kenma was currently wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets on the couch playing one of his new handheld games. He didn't respond, figuring Kuroo would find him soon enough, as he was wrapping up a particularly challenging boss battle. He heard Kuroo walking towards their bedroom, probably to change, as he landed the final blow to the boss. Cut scenes played on the screen in front of him as he heard his boyfriend complaining.

"Kenmaaa, where are you?" he drew his words out long with a winey tone. Kenma just rolled his eyes and focused on his game. Suddenly, he felt the couch dip beside him as strong arms wrapped themselves around him. "Why are you always hiding when I come home?" Kuroo teased.

"I'm literally always in the same spot every time, Kuroo," Kenma replied with a sigh as he let the tension leave his body.

"I know, Kitten, I'm teasing," Kuroo planted a kiss on Kenma's cheek, making him blush. "How was work?"

"Same as usual," the cut scenes finished so Kenma saved his game and placed the handheld on the coffee table. "People being people, but nothing to straining."

"Good, good. My day was pretty productive," Kuroo said with a glint in his eye.

"Didn't you visit your mom on your way home?" Kenma asked.

"I did! She asked about you; she always does. You have to come visit her soon or she's gonna start thinking you don't exist."

Kenma chuckled. "I've known your mom my entire life; she won't think that."

"Well she might think you don't like her anymore or something," Kuroo scoffed.

"Ok, ok, I'll come next time."

Kuroo smiled and gave him a squeeze before releasing the blonde and getting up from the couch.

"Oh, Kenma! Mom gave me another clock while I was over!"

"Oh, um, she did?" _Oh no._ For as long as Kenma had known Kuroo and his family, somehow he failed to notice their strange love for collecting clocks. Maybe it was because in his parents' home, the clocks were dispersed evenly throughout every room and they actually _matched_ the décor of each room. Since Kenma had been living with Tetsurou, they had accumulated more clocks than Kenma could keep track of. Their apartment wasn't huge; certainly not as large as the Kuroo's home, yet they probably had more clocks in their complex than his parents' place. The landlords didn't want them making any major changes to the place, so the walls remained an off white color, which, you'd think, would be easy to match with. The problem was all of Kuroo's clocks were just _weird._

They owned at least 6 digital clocks, but there were definitely many more hiding around, a typical bird clock that makes different bird noises, an m&m clock with the red m&m hanging from a rope swinging, an ocean themed clock, two semi grandfather clocks, and so many others. He had some that were mostly normal looking except the numbers were pictures of something; Kenma counted about 4 of those. There was even one in the kitchen where all the numbers were in a pile sitting at the bottom of the clock and the words 'I'm probably late anyway' were printed on it. Each room had _at least_ 4 clocks, if not more, in it.

Kenma wasn't really that concerned with cleanliness and all that, but he needed at least _some_ kind of organization, because my _god,_ who needs more than one clock per room?

That wasn't even the worst part of the endless clock problem. Aside from the digital ones, almost every clock made some kind of noise, whether it was on the hour or every 15 minutes. Kenma couldn't _stand it._ The bird clock makes bird calls every hour depending on what bird of the hour it is; 4 o'clock is a cardinal, 5 o'clock is a chickadee, 6 o'clock is _that goddamn blue jay,_ and so on. The semi grands have different chimes every hour and thirty minutes that are _very_ loud, especially at night. The ocean themed clock, which is in the bathroom, sounds like ocean waves and seabirds every fifteen minutes. This one was never too bad until the batteries started to go out. Now it just sounds like dying birds and white noise in the background. Kenma tried changing the batteries but he can't find the right ones _anywhere._ So he's left to suffer.

The worst part of all is that every single clock is out of time with each other, Kenma never actually knows what the real time is. The only clock he actually trusts is on his phone or his PSP. So at every hour for about 8 minutes, there is a symphony of different clocks going off one after another. It is truly horrible. The ocean clock doesn't even go off on the hour, it sounds at the fifty third minute. Why? Who knows, but sometimes if Kenma's in the shower and it goes off, it scares the shit out of him.

Kenma really does love Kuroo, but he's not a fan of the clocks. The only reason Kenma has survived thus far is headphones and video games for distractions. It's a wonder he ever sleeps at night; Kuroo's a heavy sleeper, so he has nothing to worry about.

Kuroo's face light's up like a kid on Christmas morning as he pulls the object of a paper bag and Kenma sighs. He wanted to be supportive of Kuroo's hobbies, but really? Clocks?

"What's it like this time?" Kenma asked half-heartedly. Kuroo just smiled not sensing his boyfriend's distress.

"It's steam locomotive themed! Pretty cool, right? Trains are fast," Kuroo beamed at his new treasure. Kenma snorted in amusement.

"Wow, I thought trains were slow," he giggled. Kuroo stuck his tongue out at him but cracked a grin at his sarcasm.

"I'll go hang it up!" With that Kuroo was off to give the new clock a home. Kenma let out another sigh.

'At least this one looks pretty normal. Hopefully it's not bothersome,' he thought to himself. When Kuroo returned, he scooped up Kenma and his cocoon and carried him towards their bedroom.

"Kuroo, my PSP is over there."

"Nope. I don't care. We're going out with Bo and Akaashi soon, so no games 'til later," Kuroo said. Kenma just whined but didn't protest further. At least it would give him a few hours away from this ticking time bomb from hell.

Kenma got home from work the next day at 3:43 PM; a bit sooner than he normally would. It was a stressful day and his boss had been nice enough to let him go early. He quickly changed and resumed his normal spot on the couch with his PSP in hand. He continued his save file from the day before, but it didn't take long before the hunger pangs set it. Kenma groaned; he really didn't feel like getting up to make something, but he didn't really have a choice. Setting his game aside, he went into the kitchen to find something relatively easy to make.

He was greeted by the new clock hanging on the wall next to the entrance, seemingly harmless as it ticked away. Kenma frowned. "So that's where he put it." Trying to ignore it, Kenma searched the cupboards for something to eat. He settled on some stale cereal he found hiding in the back. Just as he was pouring the milk, he heard the distance sound of the bathroom clock going off. He had a few more minutes until the rest of them began to sound. Kenma ate a bit faster, but soon, all the normal sounds were ringing in his ears like clockwork (pun intended lolol). Usually, Kenma could sit through the symphony and ignore it for the most part, but much to his dismay, the new seemingly harmless clock shook him out of his daze.

When it hit its hour, the clock started emitting horn noises and they were _loud as hell._ Kenma actually thought the world was coming to an end and threw himself on the floor under the table; it scared him that bad. He held his hands against his ears to block out the sound. It finally ended after the longest minute of his life, but there was still about three minutes of other clocks going off left to go and Kenma didn't feel like he was in a good enough mental state to be able to handle the rest of them. He ran for the bedroom, the only room free of clocks besides a bedside digital one, and locked the door.

He cocooned himself in the sheets, trying to comfort himself. "This has to end. As soon as Kuroo gets home, I'm putting an end to this," he told himself. Kuroo would be home in about two hours, so Kenma tried to play out what he would say, but he also had to get through another two hours of clocks going off.

When Kuroo returned home two hours later, he entered to find Kenma not in his usual spot.

'Weird, maybe he had to stay late?' Kuroo thought. He went to the bedroom only to find it locked from the inside.

"Ah,Kenma, are you in there? Why'd you lock the door?" he asked. Kuroo heard rustling from inside and soon the door clicked open. Kenma peeked out, wrapped in several blankets. "Hey sleepyhead," Kuroo teased but Kenma didn't respond. Something was off. Normally Kenma would roll his eyes or give him a friendly smack, but he just stood there looking straight at him. He looked sort of ticked and even...anxious? Kuroo wondered why. "Kenma, can I come in?"

"No."

"Huh? Why?"

"No." Kenma shut the door on Kuroo, leaving him confused. He shrugged and opened the door; Kenma didn't bother to lock it. Kenma had already thrown himself on the bed. Kuroo changed and sat next to him on the mattress.

"Rough day?"

"You have no idea."

Kuroo laughed. "I get it, but you don't have to be mean to me."

"We need to talk about something."

'Uh oh.' Kuro swallowed. The previous look of anger on Kenma's face was gone, but somehow, Kuroo still felt that this was something directly related to him.

"What is it?" he asked with caution.

Kenma paused and looked away avoiding his gave. He looked like he was having trouble forming the words in his head which made Kuroo nervous; this was obviously something serious.

"I can't stand it here anymore..." Kenma said quietly.

Kuroo's jaw dropped. Kenma didn't want to stay here with him anymore? What did he do? Did he find someone else he likes better? Was he breaking up with him? Kuroo felt like he was on the edge of a mental breakdown.

"It's all because of these stupid clocks!"

'Wait, what?' Now Kuroo was confused.

"There's too many of them and _none_ of them match _any_ part of this place! They don't tick in time and it's so frustrating! They all go off at different times and the one in bathroom is dying and I can't find the right batteries for it _anywhere._ Normally, it's easy to ignore, but the new one literally scared the shit out of me, Kuroo, it's _so loud,_ can't we change it or something? I just feel like there's no order to anything around here because all these clocks don't match up and something needs to be done about it. I want to be supportive of you, but seriously, there are too many clocks in this damn apartment and – ah, Kuroo, why are you laughing?"

At this point, Kuroo was on the verge of tears as his hysterical laughter rang throughout the room. Kenma did not look amused, but he didn't care. He took Kenma in his arms and hugged him.

"I'm so relieved! I thought this was about something serious!"

"This is serious! I'm going crazy, Kuroo!" Kenma complained. Kuroo laughed and kissed him on the forehead.

"Of course we can put some away and turn the sounds off. I didn't realize it bothered you! And the one in the bathroom just takes triple As, you really couldn't figure that out?" Kuroo laughed.

"If you knew, why didn't _you_ change them?!" Kenma nagged.

"I thought it was funny, actually." Kenma smacked Kuroo over the head.

"The next time I see your mom, I'm going to tell her to start giving you something else that normal people collect. Like stamps or something."

"It's not normal to collect clocks?"

"Who do you know besides you that collects clocks!?"

"No one, so I'd consider myself pretty unique!" Kuroo flashed a cocky smile.

"Yeah, 'unique' alright."

"Kenmaaa!" he pouted, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. "I'm glad though. Thanks for telling me Kenma. Communication is important!"

"Yeah, yeah, so when are we gonna take some down?"

"As soon as you want, Kitten."

"Right now."

"Damn, eager, aren't we?"

"Shut the hell up."

"Love you, too!" Kuroo gave him a chaste kiss, leaving Kenma smiling. Nothing could ever really come between them.

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 **The train clock is in my grandparents basement to this day, I hated it some much haha hope you enjoyed! This is also posted on AO3 under reyrocks. Come find me on tumblr! thelonelyoboe**

 **Thanks for reading! 3**


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